I SEE YOU. YOU’VE GOT A LOT GOING ON TODAY.
The kids to shuttle around.
A house to clean.
Laundry. All the Laundry!! (how do my kids wear this many clothes???)
Kid’s sports activities and extra-curriculars
The never-ending to-do list.
Not to mention The MENTAL LOAD that mothers carry like:
“Did I get the dog food?”
“When is that child’s next dentist appointment?”
“Don’t forget you volunteered for that school function.”
“Oh I haven’t seen that friend in awhile, I should reach out.”
“I’ve got to find childcare for next week’s date night.”
“That work project is due soon.”
“I’m totally messing my kids up.”
“When can I catch a break?”
“Doesn’t he see that I need help?”
Can you relate?
The actual load (what needs to get done) plus the mental load (your thoughts about what need to get done) can create feelings of anxiety, pressure and stress. And when we feel anxiety, pressure and stress, what do we do?
We usually buffer with distraction (i.e. Netlfix), or we get snappy with our husband and kids, or we cry, or we do more of the thing that isn’t actually the priority right now (you know… I really need to paint that cabinet right now). Or we eat. And drink. Or we add resentment to our current feelings because “why isn’t anyone helping me!?”
3 THINGS YOU CAN DO TODAY TO CREATE PEACE IN THE MIDST OF ALL THE THINGS:
- Take 5 minutes to process your current emotions by moving your body. Face what you’re feeling. Anger, frustration, resentment, irritation, dejected, resigned, anxious, helpless. Say it out loud or even better write it down (yes, journaling really works!) then move your body (5 min of yoga stretching, walking outside, going on a run, doing some pushups, doing some deep breathing).
- Don’t expect that other people know what you need. They don’t. If you need to ask for help, ask! And when you ask for help, let that person do it their way. Yes, your husband may do the laundry differently than you- let it go. If getting help is not an option, you may have to lower expectations and let some things fall through the cracks. And that’s ok. You are not superwoman. You cannot do it all without ending up burnt out or missing out on what’s most important (I know you think you can).
- Renew your mind!! Focus on thoughts that can help you narrow down on what’s most essential today. Even though circumstances may not change, you can change the way you experience your life by changing your perspective. That is empowering because it’s something you can actually control.
PRACTICE THOUGHTS LIKE:
“I have plenty of time and energy to do what matters most.”
“I’m grateful for ________ (the mess, the laundry, the dishes, the homework) because it means I have the blessing of children living in my home right now.”
“God does not give me more than I can handle, and He is with me.”
“Presence matters more than perfection.”
“I was made for this, and I have everything I need to show up in ___________ ( my mothering, my marriage, my work, my relationships.”
“I cast all my cares upon God… He cares for me.”
“I choose to let go of ____________( “perfect”, other’s expectations, comparison, listening to my inner critic).”
“I can figure this out.”
“I am the best mom for my kids.”
” I choose peace.”
Notice how practicing a few of these new thoughts shifts your emotions. Do you notice hope rising in you? Relief, peace, contentment, thankfulness?
You may not 100% believe these thoughts yet because your brain will resist them , but I promise you that by renewing your mind you will actually start to see what you’re looking for, and that will be more of your lived experience. You are re-wiring your brain to actually see all the things from a place of love and gratitude.
Scripture says, “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2) and fix your mind on whatever is “true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, worthy of praise.” (Philippians 4:8)
No, your actual circumstances may not change much, but your own experience of it can be completely transformed by the way you THINK about it.
I’m right there with you and I’m rooting for you.
Lord, thank you that you are a God who is with us and for us. You ask us to cast our cares upon you because you care about us. You invite us to take your yoke upon us because your yoke is easy and your burden is light. You have given us your Spirit to help lead and guide us throughout the ins and outs of our everyday lives. And you love us exactly where we are. Help us to get real with you about where we’re at right now, and the emotions we’re experiencing. Enable us to ask for help when needed and let go of things we cannot control. Inspire us to think your thoughts and see from your perspective so that we may truly live this day to the full in the various roles we are in and experience the abundant life you offer. Amen.